


cold as ice

by colorsofmyseason



Series: a thousand senses [6]
Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Attempt at Humor, FC Bayern München, Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:49:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24319867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colorsofmyseason/pseuds/colorsofmyseason
Summary: Jérôme takes too long in the bathroom, so Robert decides to prank/punish him a bit.
Relationships: Jerome Boateng/Robert Lewandowski
Series: a thousand senses [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718806
Kudos: 8





	cold as ice

**Author's Note:**

> So, after struggling with angst for awhile, I guess I'm trying my hand on (failed) humor, mostly to maintain my own sanity.
> 
> I wrote it in a hurry, but hopefully I still did a decent job on this one.
> 
> As always, set in the same universe as [passing the limits of your senses](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23852428/chapters/57326377).
> 
> Set during the first half of 2019/2020 season, when Bayern went to London to face Spurs in the Champions League.
> 
> Featuring: ice elemental!Lewy and werewolf!Boa. Anna Stachurska (Lewy's wife in real life) is mentioned here, but only as Lewy's good friend.
> 
> Warning: English is not my mother language.

Robert Lewandowski hates Jérôme Boateng.

Okay, probably he doesn't hate _hate_ Jérôme. In general, Jérôme is a decent teammate, a good defender on the pitch, and a great partner in bed. But as the saying goes, “Nobody is perfect", and Robert, even after almost five years of being in a relationship with Jérôme, and living together with him for almost three years, simply can't find himself to get used to some of the defender’s bad habits.

And the one thing that irks Robert more than anything is the amount of time Jérôme spends in the bathroom.

The defender has always been a bit of a fashionista, Robert knows. The striker himself, while not having a bad taste in dressing at all, if he may say so, doesn't really see the point of owning a mountain of sneakers, different glasses for each day of a week, and so many clothes that they barely fit inside the walk-in closet in their house. But Jérôme always frets about his hair and his appearance, and to make himself _presentable_ , which leads to the aforementioned long bathroom duration.

Normally, Robert doesn't mind. They have more than one bathroom in their house, so it’s barely a problem most of the mornings, and even during away games when they have to share a hotel room, Robert usually wakes up earlier than Jérôme and then quickly breezes through his morning routine before the defender even stirs in his sleep (if they’re not showering together, that is). But in the past few days Robert has been coming home later than usual to take care of a new business he’s opening with Anna, which leads to him sleeping at later hours as well. He has tried to maintain his internal clock as closely as possible, but eventually exhaustion catches up to him, which brings him to one morning in London where Bayern is going to face Spurs in the Champions League, and he finds himself woken up by rays of light already coming from the chink on the curtain.

And to Robert’s annoyance, Jérôme has decided to wake up earlier today and is now claiming the bathroom, whistling a tune while (presumably) scrubbing his body in the bathtub, and the defender has yet to show signs of getting out despite of the clock showing it's almost time to get to breakfast and training.

Having almost ran out of patience, Robert bangs on the bathroom door. “How much longer are you going to spend there??” he shouts.

Jérôme at least has the decency to stop whistling before shouting back, “Five more minutes.”

“That's what you said ten minutes ago,” Robert growls. “I need to bathe.”

But Jérôme only resumes whistling and doesn't respond to Robert anymore.

Robert grits his teeth. This is getting ridiculous. The striker is a meticulous and punctual person by nature, and he absolutely hates to be late, whatever the reason is. And while he knows that Niko Kovač is relatively more patient compared to their past coaches, “waiting for my boyfriend-slash-roommate who’s taking his sweet time for taking a bath and doing goodness knows what" is still _not_ going to be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

Also, people may say that this is a slightly atypical behavior for an ice elemental, but Robert has a temper. He rarely lashes out in a fiery way, that's for sure, but he certainly knows how to make sure people that irks him understands that he's angry. And as he sits waiting for Jérôme to finish, seething internally, a metaphorical bulb appears on the top of his head.

Slowly, Robert approaches the bathroom again. He doesn’t knock, he only touches the outer wall of it and closes his eyes. Immediately, in his mind, he can locate the water inside it, oh, quite an amount of water in the bathtub, especially. Biting back a grin, Robert quietly channels his power to transform all the water inside the bathroom into ice.

It's harder to do so when he can't directly touch the water, but the sudden halt of whistling sound from the bathroom is enough for Robert to know that he's done his job. That, and the faint grunting sounds that usually come from someone who's trying to release themselves from being tied up but cannot.

“LEWANDOWSKI!” Jérôme hollers from the bathroom. “Unfreeze the water, _now!!_ ”

“Or what??” Robert calls back, enjoying the situation. Oh, he's so going to thoroughly relish the memory of this moment forever.

“Or I'm going to tell Niko about this!”

Robert flicks a dust of his nails. “Oooh, scary.”

“I mean it!!!”

“So do I. “

There’s another pause before Jérôme speaks again, teeth chattering, “Alright. Release me, and I'm going to go out at once.”

“Really??”

“Really.”

“And I will never have to wait for you anymore to finish showering?”

Jérôme growls. “Robert Lewandowski, let me go _now_ or you're really going to regret it!”

Still with a shit-eating grin on his face, Robert finally retracts his power and he feels the ice turning back into water immediately. In less than a minute, Jérôme finally emerges from the bathroom, towel wrapped around his body while shivering slightly.

“Was that really necessary??” he barks while glaring darkly at Robert.

“Seeing that you're not going to give me a chance to shower before training starts, yes,” Robert replies lightly while grabbing his own towel.

The defender’s eyes narrows. “You could've killed me.”

“Oh, please,” Robert snorts. “You're a werewolf. Your body temperature is higher than the others. I know you can handle it. And hopefully it teaches you a lesson not to hog the bathroom when your boyfriend is in desperate need to shower as well.”

Jérôme only responds with an unintelligible grumble as Robert practically skips inside the bathroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like this story.
> 
> Kudos, comments, and constructive criticisms are appreciated.


End file.
